Welcome! This is a safe place for those of us who, negatively impacted by sexual repression or abuse within a religious setting, can discuss our experiences and progress. Even though we may have changed our ideas about acceptable sexuality intellectually, we may still experience psychological or emotional conflicts due to past patterns. All are welcome, regardless of current religious status or current religious views and opinions regarding sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, and sex-related issues. For instance, you do not have to agree with or support gay marriage in order to be an active member -- you just can not be a source of detriment or harassment to the members here who do. You do not have to have rejected your religion to participate in the community, and you do not have to be currently religious or spiritual. You only need an interest in cultivating a healthier or more open view and experience of sex within your own life, or have a history of redefining your sexuality from a religious context.
Additionally, to be specific, this is not a community of people solely from Christianity, even though Christianity is the framework from which many of us, including the moderator, come. You may have been raised in any spiritual or religious system and have the same experiences.
Fairly heavy moderation seems to be necessary here in order for the members here to feel safe sharing what are likely to be uncomfortable and highly personal stories, history, questions, and opinions. If you show up trolling or harassing, I will be quick to weed out those whom I deem detrimental to the community. And yes, I will announce your name to the entire class. If you find yourself banned and think it a misunderstanding, feel free to message me and I'll hear you out, I swear. :) Rest assured that comments will be perused, and bannination will occur swiftly for those who require it. Please realize that this is to provide a secure environment for open communication and sharing with regard to topics that may be difficult for many members to discuss, especially when the conversation turns to personal stories. Thus, it is important for individuals to feel able to do so without fear of personal attack for their experiences, beliefs, or opinions.
***Additionally, due to the rapid growth of the community, I am not able to moderate membership and examine the personal journals of every person wishing to join, though random journal checks should be expected. I will temporarily ban you and contact you if you seem suspicious. Please do not be offended by this. Just show me that you are a real person who is interested in the community and you will be swiftly unbanned. If you feel more comfortable using a sock puppet journal in order to be active here, that's totally fine. Please just send me a message and alert me that your sock puppet does, in fact, belong to a real person.
Here are some additional rules and guidelines that I insist on keeping. By reading, posting, or commenting you agree to abide by these rules. If you have any questions or disputes regarding the rules at any time, or especially if you have any suggestions for adding, removing, or changing any rules, please let me know.
~NO hate speech or flaming is tolerated. This includes, but is not limited to, racism, homophobia, sexism, intolerance of others' spiritual ideas or backgrounds OR lack thereof. You are entitled to your opinion, but please respect the greater message of the community -- that of love and support and a safe place to discuss and heal. ~Be respectful of the experiences, beliefs and opinions of others. Discussion/debate is acceptable, though this is a support community and not one of debate; flaming and general nastiness is not. Yeah, this might mean you have tiptoe just a little bit to express what you want to say. You can deal, it'll only pinch a little. ~It is never okay to insinuate that a member did anything to deserve any negative sexual repercussions they might experience, i.e. rape, abuse, difficulty with sex, negative emotions toward sex. Not only is this inappropriate and mean, it is. The official stance of this community is that people come as they are. It doesn't matter at all what is in your past. As long as you are here with the intent of either cultivating a healthier sex life for yourself, or encouraging others with the same intent, you are welcome to stay and talk about whatever is on your mind. Opinions and guidance for the future is welcome, but condemning anyone for their past, even what may be perceived as their past wrongs, is not okay. ~NO outright proselytizing is allowed. Period. I will ban you in a heartbeat for this. Everything else gets warnings until I see fit to ban. Keep in mind that this rule applies to monotheists, atheists, agnostics, gnostics, polytheists, nontheists, pantheists, panentheists, and every other sort of theist alike. It is not okay to say, "If you would just give your life to Jesus, maybe one day you will experience wholesome godly sex within the institution of marriage," for instance. Discussing your personal spiritual views, however, is welcome and encouraged. ~No spamming or trolling, blah blah blah. Don't be annoying. ~Please feel free to promote the community where appropriate, especially if ours is a message that you believe in, though this is not necessary. ~Any promotions for other relevant communities, journals, links, or resources are welcome, as long as said posting does not violate any other rules. ~I'm not a huge stickler for LJ-cuts. However, if you post anything that is big enough to make me do a helluva lot of scrolling, please do our flists a favor and put your entry behind a cut. Also, please cut entries that might contain triggering material for some. ~Please use tags! ~Feel free to make an intro post -- this is encouraged. But then again, lurking's cool too. ;) ~Do not delete entries or comments (or edit out the crucial portions). It is annoying. If you want to retract something you have said, cowboy up and admit you were wrong and wish to change your opinion. If you don't like the response you have received, say so. Let's be adults here! If I notice a deleted post or comment, I might very well repost it, and you can expect a warning. ~Do NOT repost or discuss anything contained within the community elsewhere without my permission AND that of the OP. If you do this, you risk being banned, especially if said repost is done with ill intent. For this community to function appropriately, members need to feel safe to express ideas and experiences that can be very difficult to talk about. If there is a constant fear of invasion of privacy, this open forum atmosphere will be inhibited. However, links to the general community for the purpose of promotion is just fine, and welcome. ~Sexually explicit dialogue is acceptable. Stories or images with pornographic or erotic intent, however, is not. There are other places for this. Please, share your stories, your thoughts, and your progress. If you do post something that is particularly explicit, please up the security rating to "explicit adult content" for that entry. ~I heartily encourage members to F-Lock their entries, though this is not required. If, however, the post is discussion oriented and a lack of F-lock might keep people from participating in discussion, I will likely request that you lock it.
Rules are subject to change without notice. If you have any issues, questions, complaints, or suggestions regarding this community, please do not hesitate to send me a message. I'd be happy to hear you out. Thanks for stopping by, and please pass us on!